Misconceptions About Being Asexual

This isn’t really something I talk about in detail to anyone. If I ever do mention being asexual, it’s just a brief statement and that’s pretty much it. I’ve known I was asexual since about 16 years old, so for about two years now. Asexual just means you have no sexual attraction but that doesn’t mean you can’t be in a relationship nor actually like someone. You just don’t have any sexual attraction obviously.

There isn’t really an age set in stone where you realize you’re asexual lol, it varies from person to person. Maybe one day I’ll go into details about asexuality but for now I wanted to make a post about some popular misconceptions. 🙂

So right off the bat let’s get into some misconceptions about being ace!

1) We can’t be sexually active

This is extremely annoying to hear because being ace doesn’t affect your libido. Some people are sex repulsed, some aren’t. You’ll get different responses from many asexual people because we all don’t feel the same about sexual things of nature. I personally am not repulsed by it but some people might be. It’s all based on what you feel comfortable with.

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2) We cannot be in a relationship

We are asexual, not aromantic. (Unless you’re obviously both lol) Being ace does not mean you cannot be in a relationship. You can still have romantic feelings for your partner just like anyone else.

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3) We are all asexual due to trauma

Asexuality is the lack of a sexual orientation and is not caused by any sort of trauma. Even if a person who’s asexual had trauma related events happen to them, it did not result in them becoming asexual. Trauma ≠ cause of asexuality.

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4) We like cake

There’s this weird joke about asexuality and cake lmao and even though it might be a funny joke to some, it can be cringe city for others. Obviously not everyone likes cake.

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5) We’re asexual due to lack of sexual experience

Even if someone wasn’t a virgin, they could still be asexual. Being sexually active doesn’t automatically dismiss someone’s asexuality and vice versa.

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6) Asexuals don’t want children

This is kind of an odd misconception…not everyone wants kids but there are asexuals who indeed want children. As I said before, not every asexual is sex repulsed and such.

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7) Asexuality = celibacy

NO

Asexuality is not the same as celibacy (the state of abstaining from marriage and sexual relations), asexuality isn’t an choice and is the lack of sexual attraction whereas celibacy is something people CHOOSE to do. People choose to stay away from things like marriage due to their own personal reasons.

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8) We are plants

Kinda funny, but we are unfortunately humans and not plants. The term “asexual” can be used for humans and plants.

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9) We haven’t found the right person yet

If I had a dollar for every time someone told me/anyone this let’s just say I’d be a rich man right now. Do I really have to explain why this is an ignorant statement?

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10) We are people who are gay and closeted

This confuses me so much because I don’t understand why this correlates with being gay and in the closet. Being ace has literally NOTHING to do with being gay. Yes, there may be people who are indeed asexual and they are gay/also in the closet. That doesn’t mean every single asexual is gay though.

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Well.. there you have it. Ten misconceptions about asexuality. What surprised you the most?

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